Confession #2!

So, I think I have learned this lesson a million times but Life is Hard! For some reason I lived under the misconception that as you got older, wiser, started making your own decisions, things would suddenly become easier. How wrong was I!!

This week Jon-Michael headed off to the fun land of Youth Ministry. The land where it feels like I lose my husband at least 3 times a year. While he is playing with the kids and serving the Lord, I'm left behind this stupid desk and being a single mom. (Which I must give props to full time single moms b/c this is the hardest job ever!)

Not only am I lonely and sad for him to be away for a week but as the week drags on I'm becoming bitter and angry. I guess this makes Confession #2 of my blog. I know it sounds terrible and awful for a youth pastors wife to get bitter and angry but it is so hard to share your husband. It is so hard to be left behind, forgotten, while it feels like everyone else is off having fun. It's so hard to hear how much fun people are having while I'm at a job I hate. By the way, didn't we sign up for this together? Wasn't this a Calling on both of our lives? Yet I always get left out of the fun stuff.

Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe there is an Ultimate Purpose for why I get left behind. It's been a long week and it's almost over. I will pray through it and I know God's Strength will get me to the end. Pray with me for my heavy Heart!

Hard Choices

I am known to tell my youth to "Make good Choices", but what do you do when you can't explain the choices you make? When you want to make good choices but it seems like the choices you have are both wrong? It's hard to hear God, I mean actually listen to Him when there is a choice you have your mind set on and it seems like everyone else around you is making those choices for you. Does that mean it's God making the tough decisions for you by forcing you into something? Or is it you not being patient to hear His voice? I have no answer. I wish someone did!

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year to All!
I am gladly welcoming the New year although 2009 brought many wonderful things to my life includign my amazing son, 2 nieces, and new church! I am ready for the change of pace and change of mind set. I can't wait to see my little Mason will be one in only a months time and I am so excited to watch him grow and try new things! He is amazing to watch as he explores the world. Our Youth group has brought so much happiness to my life this year and I am so happy to be building so awesome relationships with these kids! I hope that 2010 will just make them that much stronger! This year I am praying for more Faith, a more positive attitude, and a clear vision of what God wants me to be doing in my life! Hope you all start the year with a great attitude!

The blind leading the blind

Do you ever feel like you are the Blind Man just praying that God would spit in the mud and rub it in your eyes? I feel like lately I have been blindly walking in many areas of my life waiting for the mud to be washed from my eyes. Praying that God not only shows me, but also the people around me, how to Glorify His name in the most beneficial way we can. Have we all been so blinded by the world that we have lost sight of the reason we do what we do. Have we been the blind leading the blind right into the numbness of passionless church and worship? How do we receive the Holy "spit" that we don't even deserve? How do we ask God to open our eyes when we ourselves are so numb to the worldliness going on all around us that we don't stand up for what we believe in... HIM, HIS WORD, HIS PROMISES.

Halloween!!

Mason's first Halloween wasn't all that successful! He was hot and worn out and I have to admit, these pictures were taken by my mother in law because I forgot my camara! No mother of the year awards coming my way! But It was fun to have the cutest pirate around! Enjoy!

Walking on Water

Have you ever felt like you are in the middle of a storm and everyone around you expects you to be walking calmly on the water? I feel like I feel like that the majority of the time. Like my life is always chaotic and crazy rushing around being beat by the waves and going against the wind yet everyone always looks at me like, "why are you not calmly walking on water?" and when you think about it, I should be. The whole reason Peter was able to do that was because he never took his eyes off Jesus. He never lost focus, and when he did, he began to sink. I need to stay focused, I need to keep my eyes glued on what my goal is, Pleasing God. Not look around and see if I am pleasing others, not look around and see what craziness is going on around me but look ahead and see the stability in God!

Hope you guys can pray for me that I will stop sinking in the water and I hope you guys will not be sinking right beside me but that we can walk clamly next to eachother with a strong faith that God knows what He's doing in the midst of the storm!

God's Image

So My party I was so excited about got rained out, Litterally!! It was raining to hard to get the little guy out. So I was totally bummed to miss it but had an enjoyable evening listening to the rain with my husband instead! Maybe Next time!

So, here we are another Monday. I am learning a lesson about God putting us in the fire and holding us there. The Bible says, "He is our Purifier and Refiner." like a silversmith he holds us in the fire until he sees His reflection in us. Makes me wonder why is His image is so hidden inside me. Why is it not easier to be found? Why most I be held in the fire so long? I wonder if we think we are Godly than we are. Even when we are doing all teh right "church" things if he still needs to find hold us in the fire to remind us who is in charge. It humbles me to think that for so long and so many times I have been held in the fire and all this time I thought I was showing God's image to the world, Yet he is still looking for it!

If you are being held in the fire, know that God is with you, looking for His image to be shown clearly!